Getting married — help!

[jurassicsnark]

I'll cut to the chase... I'm getting married, and I have no idea what to wear. I searched this forum, but nothing came up.

I have no interest in a traditional, white, princess dress. But it's also safe to say that I'm a bit obsessed with style and want something special. It's also worth mentioning that I'm in my 40s, and while I'm in decent shape, I wouldn't want to wear anything that skews too young...

We're still working out details, but right now the top contender is a pagoda in a park. It will be a very small wedding (less than 15 people, including us), and the level of formality is very much up to us.

[ahn]

First of all - congratulations!! What season will it be when you've scheduled the ceremony?

This is my dream wedding ensemble, I have no idea if that kind of thing is up your alley though.

Do you have any feelings with respects to the traditional style of wedding dress? By this I mean, are you thinking 'white gown, but what?' or do you lean toward the more nontraditional such as a coloured gown, or not a gown at all, or trousers even, etc?

As for the more traditional kinds of gowns, the Givenchy 2011 Haute Couture collection always resonated fondly with me.

Gareth Pugh could be a great consideration for a gown with a darker twist, and I am also in love with the couture work of Hogan McLaughlin, although it's very dark/period-style/witchy (he does costumes for Game of Thrones).

Of course having said this I don't know how one would get their hands on any of these. But perhaps it gives you a stylistic starting place?

[jurassicsnark]

Thanks, AHN. I was hoping you'd jump in here.

We're planning for late April — it will be our 10-year anniversary, and as we each hold a passport that the other wouldn't mind having, we decided it was time. That said, we haven't 100% settled on a location, so it might end up being quite cold... There is pretty much no chance of it being over about 22C, because I don't do hot, so the warmest locale we'd pick would be San Francisco.

Your dream ensemble is exactly the sort of thing I have in mind — in fact, it's already on my Pinterest board. That, or the Gaultier kimono dress that Madonna wore, but not in red. Ideally in a dark, very muted green (PMS5477 is my favorite color), a light silvery grey, or even white.
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My coloring is pretty weak, and I just can't carry red without a lot of makeup, which really isn't my thing.
I like this, too, but the red problem persists.
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As for non-traditional, I am open to many things — white but unusual shape, color, etc. I promised my mom I wouldn't wear all black, but I also told her not to get her hopes up for white.

I was considering this piece, if I can find it in my size:
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Possibly wearing it over this:

Or having a skirt painted in my style and palette, similar to this but more my thing:
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Thanks for the great ideas, and if anything else strikes you, please let me know.

[jurassicsnark]

Making a new post, since I can only attach 5 images.
I also love this, especially the slight ombre to grey, but unfortunately, being without a bra is not an option for me. I have a tiny ribcage, but a lot of boob.

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[rider]

When I first read your post last night that Rick Owens dress was my very first thought because I adore the cut and the texture. I secretly wished I had a reason to get it, so I completely concur that its a Great choice and definitely worth trying. I realize its black but with the white jacket it would be even better and elegant.

Very exciting time in your life, Congrats.

[jurassicsnark]

Thank you, Rider!
I adore it, too. The bigger question is where can I find the jacket in the right size?
The link you posted has the dress in a 42, which may work. Most of my Rick stuff is 42, including jackets, but I have things from 38-44, usually depending on the chest...

[rider]

Hotoveli has the jacket in 44 and worthwile does as well but in a 46.
Perhaps IF or RONY has the 42?

let us know how it goes.

[jurassicsnark]

Will do, and thanks for the help.
Forward Elyse Walker has the dress in all sizes, though it's still full price... But if the 42 doesn't work, it's nice to have a backup plan. And I'll check Hotoveli. I've lost some weight this year, so I'm unlikely to be a 46, or even a 44, unless it is cut really small through the bust (I'm 30G these days). Also, I know what RONY is, but what is IF?

[rider]

IF Soho New York on Grand St. you'd like the space ;-)

[jurassicsnark]

Brilliant, will check — thanks!

[jurassicsnark]

Quick update: I got the jacket in a 40 — I knew it would be too small, but I figured it was worth a try to see if I wanted to track once down in the right size. Beyond the sizing issue, it didn't really suit me. I think the biggest issue is that it's not "milk," it's "vanilla," and it has too much yellow in it for me to wear well next to my face (my coloring is very cool).

I also picked up the dress in a 44. Honestly, a 42 would probably be a better fit, but I can certainly make it work. And holy cow — the dress feels like wearing a cashmere caftan. It's absurdly soft and nice. So, at this point, I'd say the dress is a definite maybe, if I can find something to wear with it that isn't black. :)

[ahn]

Ah I'm sorry to read that the jacket didn't work out. I possibly have similar colouring to you - I can't wear pastels - I look best in stark whites.

Can you find a good alterations to make the adjustments to the dress? It could be worth it.

Ooooh this is so exciting!!

[jurassicsnark]

Yeah, AHN, from the photos I've seen, I'd say our coloring is very similar.
Stark white works well; off-whites, not so much.
But I think your coloring is stronger than mine — mine is a bit soft, so I can't really wear pure or bright colors. That teal that Rick used in Mastodon suits me well, for instance.

But yeah, the dress is in contention, if I can find something non black to wear it with. It's perfect and I love it.

[jurassicsnark]

I ordered the dress in a 42, and I LOVE it.
I am pretty sure it's the one... But it's black, and I promised my mom I'd not wear all black.

So, a few thoughts...
Has anyone seen this elsewhere?

https://www.rickowens.eu/en/US/women/products/ro16f2152h-21

I think a 40 is going to be cutting it, and since I'm busty, I don't want to be spilling out anywhere. Would love to find it in a 42 or 44 if anyone has any leads...

Otherwise — any thoughts on a jacket or something to wear with it that isn't black?
I have a great Ann D jacket (gold and black) that I got in Antwerp that looks amazing, but it may be a bit much for the event...
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Any other ideas?

[rider]

I just love that Rick dress in both colors. I hope you find the white. Did you call the Rick Owens store? They will be able to track one down if another store has it.
i wish the white jacket had worked because I think the black and white theme quells the norm but visa versa will be easier and more traditional.