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Thread: post your work and creations

  1. #1341
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    I recorded a lo-fi acoustic album of songs I wrote a while back.

    https://shero.bandcamp.com/album/maniac-club

  2. #1342
    Senior Member goldsamxo's Avatar
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    Before I moved to NYC for college, I was running a small brand out of my bedroom / studio called 'gold.' (alas the name). this is one of the pieces i released;



    it was a 17 oz. japanese french terry shirt with pima de roma cotton sleeves & sewn on patches. i had a lot of run running the 'brand' and making clothes - just my style has changed

  3. #1343
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    I haven't been on here for a while, and now I'm on here as a self-promoting whore. I'm honestly sorry about that. I hate being that more than anything. It feels like a crime against genuine, authentic relationships. I feel that the only way to offset that in any way is with this apologetic preface. A lot of creative people reside here, though, so hopefully you sympathize. I'll give you the tl;dr version first:

    nutjob makes album about mental illness and drug (ab)use

    https://shero.bandcamp.com/
    https://www.facebook.com/sheropunks/

    This album is largely about depression, drugs, addiction, mania, suicide ideation, delusional psychosis, all things one might find themselves inside a mental hospital for. I don't drink or do drugs and am in both good mental and physical health (except smoking of course), so in case you're the type to be concerned, no need to worry about that. But with respect to setting and emotion, this one is tied heavily to SZ for me, and I hope you'll be able to hear or feel it in there. If SZ posters only listen to one song out of curiosity, I'd hope it's "Maniac Club."

    Full story:

    When I was 19, I lost my mind. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder Type 1 (the weirdest Daniel Johnston one). I spent some time in inpatient trying to lie my way out and learning to act normal, which is why I'm so good at acting normal now. They put me on meds, and eventually I believed something.

    Fast forward to ~15 years later, I decide to go off my meds and see what I'm really about. Years pass during this time, and I do fine. This is coincidentally the time that I'm furiously posting on SZ. While I probably came off as pretty out there, it's just the internet, so who cares? Be mean, nice, crazy, stupid, funny, smart, serious, ramble, rant, rave, ignore, it's all absorbed into this vulgar blue.

    But in terms of real life (ie, my job, being a dad, health, except cigarettes of course), it's all going well enough. Some emotional outbursts and burning bridges happen, maybe a little bit of overspending, but that stuff happens to everyone. Then I stop caring about being off meds. I've done my thing, and there's nothing left to be gained. I decide to go back on as insurance against a nastier mood, at least until my son is old enough to take care of himself. In the process, I accidentally admitted myself into inpatient, whoops, but all's well that ends well.

    It was a rad time. I love being bipolar, both the highs and the lows. I think it's what makes me awesome instead of boring and normal and scared of what others might think or desperate for validation, people afraid of pain, death, insanity, and nihilism. So during that off-meds time, I wrote these songs, and over the past couple of months, I've recorded them proper, how I envisioned them w/drums, bass, synth, all that.

  4. #1344

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    Listened through and enjoyed the whole thing. I have a friend who was diagnosed with manic disorder around the same age as you and to this day still has problems. Unfortunately he has issues with sobriety as well which doesn't help. He has 1-3 year spurts of no problems but you can tell when he is starting to slip and it is a quick decent. Glad to hear everything is going well for you. keep up the music, it's sick.

  5. #1345
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    Not sure if you experience the other side of the coin as well of creating works (music or otherwise), but I feel like listening to a full album is the nicest possible thing a person could do for an unknown musician, so I really appreciate it.

    Sobriety is tough, unrewarding, and necessary, like paying home insurance. If only they had a recreational drug that made existence feel meaningful and intentional, reasonable, without ill effects, rather than arbitrary chaos.

  6. #1346

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    ^^ In relation to that I often think of this great quote from the Rick in the Purple Mag interview. For my music, I don't want a big audience for fame or money, but I want to be part of the conversation.

    "RICK OWENS — It really is a very selfish exercise of what I want, what I want to say, and what I want to produce. But it’s almost never: “What do people want?” Or even, “What do people need?” That wouldn’t work. I call it a conversation. What’s great about making things is being listened to. Everybody wants to be listened to. You want your children to listen to you. You want your lover to listen to you. You want somebody to listen to you.

    OLIVIER ZAHM — True.

    RICK OWENS — You say something, and you want somebody to listen. I feel great satisfaction in that I was able to communicate this way. I’m not that comfortable in groups — I’m not shy, I just never really learned how to work with a team. I never played group sports or learned how to be comfortable in a group. Michèle, for example, went to a boarding school, where I think you learn a different set of skills. I didn’t really learn those. So my comfort level is one that is to be very much alone. But I was determined to participate in the world. I want to be part of the world. I often drank too much to make myself brave enough to be part of it. To participate. I did that for a long time. Now, I feel like I’ve participated. It’s the most wonderful feeling."

  7. #1347

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    And while we're sharing, I recently started releasing material from a new project. My first stab at some songs rather than abstract electronic or chamber music:

  8. #1348
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    I dig it, especially the drums and the overall sounds/mood. Video editing was really clever. Is that you in the video, and are you doing everything yourself? Also, namecheck on hoodie if relevant to SZ, because this is SZ after all. :P

    I ended up doing some video editing (word used loosely) myself:



    Quote Originally Posted by casem View Post
    ^^ In relation to that I often think of this great quote from the Rick in the Purple Mag interview. For my music, I don't want a big audience for fame or money, but I want to be part of the conversation.

    "RICK OWENS — It really is a very selfish exercise of what I want, what I want to say, and what I want to produce. But it’s almost never: “What do people want?” Or even, “What do people need?” That wouldn’t work. I call it a conversation. What’s great about making things is being listened to. Everybody wants to be listened to. You want your children to listen to you. You want your lover to listen to you. You want somebody to listen to you.

    OLIVIER ZAHM — True.

    RICK OWENS — You say something, and you want somebody to listen. I feel great satisfaction in that I was able to communicate this way. I’m not that comfortable in groups — I’m not shy, I just never really learned how to work with a team. I never played group sports or learned how to be comfortable in a group. Michèle, for example, went to a boarding school, where I think you learn a different set of skills. I didn’t really learn those. So my comfort level is one that is to be very much alone. But I was determined to participate in the world. I want to be part of the world. I often drank too much to make myself brave enough to be part of it. To participate. I did that for a long time. Now, I feel like I’ve participated. It’s the most wonderful feeling."
    As for fame and money, well I definitely want those things. What else is left to experience, a 2nd divorce? Another pair of overpriced sneakers? And I'm not stupid, I know who I am and that fame/money is not in my cards at this point in my life, but etc. Although, you did say for fame/money, that's quite a bit different.

    What do you mean by conversation? Because I think about talking through music and talking about music. The former, music as a conversation, music itself being the ideas exchanged, I'm all about that. I think about how the music I love comes out in my work, and I love the idea that it might in turn do the same for someone else. The way the pendulum of fashion does or the way academic conversations unfold over time, I'd like to be a part of that.

    But otherwise, I find it very hard to talk about music (or anything aesthetic) anymore. My BFF and I, we go way back on music, and it's gotten to the point that we've kind of just resigned ourselves to saying 'I like/dislike X' 'y/n.' Like when I try to talk about music itself, and not scenes or equipment or processes, I end up disbelieving what I said or feeling I misrepresented something. Or I just end up contradicting it later, or I feel like I'm just full of hot air. I mean everyone has opinions, and rational supporting arguments hold little weight with me in that subjective moment, be it creating or listening. Like if someone were to ask me what my video is about, all I could really think to say is "it is about devil worship."
    Last edited by DudleyGray; 08-13-2017 at 05:53 PM.

  9. #1349

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    Anybody does constrained creative writing? When I have free time, I like writing in tautograms, lipograms, chaterisms, etc.

  10. #1350

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    Thanks! Yup its me, shot by my BF in Iceland, super simple because I don't know much about video editing but I know most people consume music on youtube so I thought I should make something. Hoodie is the Soloist and jacket is Siki Im ;-).

    I didn't mean anything so literal about conversation, generally my music is non-narrative and I don't mean talking about music with friends. I just mean I want to be part of the greater conversation of what's going on in new music, I want to be known and relevant. I've thought about this a lot having gone through academia, where lots of people are making interesting music but it has almost no impact whatsoever on the wider culture. I was reminded of this point when you mentioned how great it is to have someone give your entire album a listen. Of course, fame and money are cool too, but my main motivation is to be heard.

    I also gave your album and video a listen and I'm diggin it!

    Quote Originally Posted by DudleyGray View Post
    I dig it, especially the drums and the overall sounds/mood. Video editing was really clever. Is that you in the video, and are you doing everything yourself? Also, namecheck on hoodie if relevant to SZ, because this is SZ after all. :P

    I ended up doing some video editing (word used loosely) myself:





    As for fame and money, well I definitely want those things. What else is left to experience, a 2nd divorce? Another pair of overpriced sneakers? And I'm not stupid, I know who I am and that fame/money is not in my cards at this point in my life, but etc. Although, you did say for fame/money, that's quite a bit different.

    What do you mean by conversation? Because I think about talking through music and talking about music. The former, music as a conversation, music itself being the ideas exchanged, I'm all about that. I think about how the music I love comes out in my work, and I love the idea that it might in turn do the same for someone else. The way the pendulum of fashion does or the way academic conversations unfold over time, I'd like to be a part of that.

    But otherwise, I find it very hard to talk about music (or anything aesthetic) anymore. My BFF and I, we go way back on music, and it's gotten to the point that we've kind of just resigned ourselves to saying 'I like/dislike X' 'y/n.' Like when I try to talk about music itself, and not scenes or equipment or processes, I end up disbelieving what I said or feeling I misrepresented something. Or I just end up contradicting it later, or I feel like I'm just full of hot air. I mean everyone has opinions, and rational supporting arguments hold little weight with me in that subjective moment, be it creating or listening. Like if someone were to ask me what my video is about, all I could really think to say is "it is about devil worship."

  11. #1351
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    Thanks, casem!

    Do you think it's possible to be a part of the conversation without fame? Everything is just so fragmented these days, and the internet all but absorbs/synthesizes/nullifies new movements. Like I love witch house and still follow Balam Acab loyally, but that movement was barely a blip. People got excited for Salem's return but who knows if that will even happen. Although, there's also the route of a band like Half Japanese. They somehow managed to work their way in channeled through Sonic Youth and Nirvana. That would be a really cool thing to be, too, although I'm not sure that I could personally be satisfied with that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Anybody does constrained creative writing? When I have free time, I like writing in tautograms, lipograms, chaterisms, etc.
    I googled what these were, and the constraints seem awfully arbitrary, but I suppose that's not too different from any other creative act. What do you got?

  12. #1352

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    Quote Originally Posted by DudleyGray View Post
    I googled what these were, and the constraints seem awfully arbitrary, but I suppose that's not too different from any other creative act. What do you got?
    They are arbitrary indeed. In fact, think of a different never-before-used constraint, give it a fashionable latin/greek name, and voilà, you just invented a new type of constrained writing. That's already creative in itself. But constrained writing does have a useful and quite important purpose (besides making you the next Raymond Queneau): it makes you more proficient in a language.

    I first got interested in constrained writing when I took a creative writing class in French last year. So, my writings are exclusively in French, and not one in English. If you or anyone else is interested, I'd be more than happy to share. But if one doesn't understand the language, then it may not seem as interesting, I'm afraid. Hate to bore.

  13. #1353

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    I'm not one for shout outs, but here is one for Raymond Queneau although I've not thought of him working with constraints. If anything, I think he was known for using common, street language in writing rather than a more formal French and being playful in his plots and writing. I have to read everything in English so I know I'm missing out on word plays in Queneau and Robbe-Grillet. Michel Butor (sp?)was another favorite of mine as well as Celine.

  14. #1354
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    They are arbitrary indeed. In fact, think of a different never-before-used constraint, give it a fashionable latin/greek name, and voilà, you just invented a new type of constrained writing. That's already creative in itself. But constrained writing does have a useful and quite important purpose (besides making you the next Raymond Queneau): it makes you more proficient in a language.

    I first got interested in constrained writing when I took a creative writing class in French last year. So, my writings are exclusively in French, and not one in English. If you or anyone else is interested, I'd be more than happy to share. But if one doesn't understand the language, then it may not seem as interesting, I'm afraid. Hate to bore.
    Unfortunately, I speak fewer Frenches than Rick, so your pommes would be lost on me. But I don't see what boring others has to do with anything. This is the internet, after all; everyone is bored when they are not, and you can't hold anyone's attention even when you have it. As an aside, as an editor by trade, I respect your concision, "in itself," not to mention colon use. Yours shows emphasis, while mine shows the vulgar: shit.

    I have to retract my previous statement on music as conversation, as I don't believe that is why I am doing this. I feel completely alone in the universe, as the sole subject of my experience, with the subjective experience of others inaccessible to my self. At this time, because I'm fickle, I believe that music is my Sisyphean attempt to break the subject-object barrier, to Deleuze myself into believing in a musical monism, that others can feel what I feel beyond doubt and that I can be the cause of such feelings, as much as the music of others stirs within me.

  15. #1355

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    I’ve started a small project where I take the most basic Supreme accessories and subtract the logo.
    I’m posting one item every day on my Tumblr named "Regular Products".
    "The only rule is don't be boring and dress cute wherever you go. Life is too short to blend in."
    -Paris Hilton

  16. #1356

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    Quote Originally Posted by zen dog View Post
    I'm not one for shout outs, but here is one for Raymond Queneau although I've not thought of him working with constraints. If anything, I think he was known for using common, street language in writing rather than a more formal French and being playful in his plots and writing. I have to read everything in English so I know I'm missing out on word plays in Queneau and Robbe-Grillet. Michel Butor (sp?)was another favorite of mine as well as Celine.
    There is a literary movement and a "society" of various writers (mostly French) who create works using constrained writing techniques. This society is called Oulipo, and it was founded in 1960 by Raymond Queneau and François Le Lionnais. Raymond Queneau's constrained "Cent mille milliards de poèmes" (A Hundred Thousand Billion Poems) led to the Oulipo's creation in 1960. RQ is also known for wit and humor in his writing. If you're interested, be sure to read his notable "Exercices de style" in English (ingeniously translated by Barbara Wright). It's a marvelous brain tickler. Very short and very easy to read. You'll have fun.
    Last edited by Alan; 08-27-2017 at 10:24 AM.

  17. #1357
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    I took footage from this post to make this video:



    The song is titled Never Complain, from the Kate Moss quote, "Never complain, never explain" (originally Benjamin Disraeli). Side note, Windows Movie Maker is annoying as hell to try and sync music and video with.

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  19. #1359
    Senior Member DudleyGray's Avatar
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    My BFF sent me a voice memo acoustic song last night and it was so good that I felt compelled to record it proper:

    https://soundcloud.com/sheropunks/s-...r-tv-nighttime

    RIYL: Lydia Loveless, Ryan Adams, The Replacements/Paul Westerberg, Big Star/Alex Chilton

  20. #1360

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    I'm still worry about to post it hear cause of how you may react but here are some of my illustrations that I created as meditation







    «Страдания жизни неразумной приводят к сознанию необходимости разумной жизни.»
    Лев Николаевич Толстой

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