Stranger's Reactions to your Clothes?

[Faust]

I've given up counting the number of conversations I've had with men who wanted me to change my style. They would take me to Zara or H&M and pull out some bow light blue dresses and suggest I'd try them on.

...

It works both ways like that.
I guess his blue denim should give me a clue.

We should date then.

[Faust]

It doesn't seem to make sense, to find someone and mold them into what you want them to be. There are enough people in the world that you can surely find someone who authentically shares your values. Why settle for some imitation of your own creation?

You don't have to change them, but you can show them things that they don't know and let them decide for themselves. Everybody had to start somewhere.

[DudleyGray]

None of the women I've dated has the audacity to suggest a style change, that seems absurdly rude, right above "you would look great if you lost 10 pounds."

I don't like that idea that it's shallow to share an interest in fashion, considering fashion is a sort of visual form of communication. If anything, identity and self expression that are reflected by fashion are anything but.

[daou0782]

Some people tend to take clothes for granted; they don't put much thought into them the same way they don't put too much thought into what they eat, for example.

The girls I have dated in the last couple of years have been like this. One day they decide to make an effort to eat healthier stuff, and they buy non-fat flavored drinking yogurt the next time they go to the grocery store.

I never say anything about their clothes or their food choices. But I don't hide the deliberateness of my own choices. As we get to know each other better, they eventually come to appreciate this aspect of me and follow suit by giving more thought to how they present themselves or their lifestyle choices, or, at least, they respect me for it (as I can respect them for their integrity or convictions).

In a recent interview, Rick said he looked for a partner to lead an "aesthetic life" with and that's what he had found in Michelle. As to me, I judge the girls by the way they dress or the music they listen to or the books they read, but there's a difference between judging and acting upon our judgements.

My current girlfriend doesn't read much (outside school--she has two masters), only listens to commercial hits and is an awful dresser in the sense that not only has she an underdeveloped sense of personal taste, but she doesn't even have a basic grasp of what flatters her figure and complexion and what doesn't. The only comment she's ever made regarding my clothes is that according to her they make me look intimidating and not approachable (something I'm actually ok with).

I think one can still lead a happy relationship with someone based on shared values and goals. But in all truth, I admit it'd be more fun if we could share the same interest in aesthetics. So far, aesthetics in general and clothes in particular are things that I've kept to myself when in a relationship. I guess this will make knowing when I've found "the one" easier.

[Fuuma]

It doesn't seem to make sense, to find someone and mold them into what you want them to be. There are enough people in the world that you can surely find someone who authentically shares your values. Why settle for some imitation of your own creation?

I disagree

[Fuuma]

Some people tend to take clothes for granted; they don't put much thought into them the same way they don't put too much thought into what they eat, for example.

The girls I have dated in the last couple of years have been like this. One day they decide to make an effort to eat healthier stuff, and they buy non-fat flavored drinking yogurt the next time they go to the grocery store.

I never say anything about their clothes or their food choices. But I don't hide the deliberateness of my own choices. As we get to know each other better, they eventually come to appreciate this aspect of me and follow suit by giving more thought to how they present themselves or their lifestyle choices, or, at least, they respect me for it (as I can respect them for their integrity or convictions).

In a recent interview, Rick said he looked for a partner to lead an "aesthetic life" with and that's what he had found in Michelle. As to me, I judge the girls by the way they dress or the music they listen to or the books they read, but there's a difference between judging and acting upon our judgements.

My current girlfriend doesn't read much (outside school--she has two masters), only listens to commercial hits and is an awful dresser in the sense that not only has she an underdeveloped sense of personal taste, but she doesn't even have a basic grasp of what flatters her figure and complexion and what doesn't. The only comment she's ever made regarding my clothes is that according to her they make me look intimidating and not approachable (something I'm actually ok with).

I think one can still lead a happy relationship with someone based on shared values and goals. But in all truth, I admit it'd be more fun if we could share the same interest in aesthetics. So far, aesthetics in general and clothes in particular are things that I've kept to myself when in a relationship. I guess this will make knowing when I've found "the one" easier.

So black favours the complexion of everyone here? I think most enthousiasts only pay lip service to "optimization" going for their aesthetic proclivities.

[Lucky Strike]

I think one can still lead a happy relationship with someone based on shared values and goals. But in all truth, I admit it'd be more fun if we could share the same interest in aesthetics. So far, aesthetics in general and clothes in particular are things that I've kept to myself when in a relationship. I guess this will make knowing when I've found "the one" easier.

Yes, Ive been in relationships where the girl is really into my style and encourage me, buy stuff as gifts etc, and Ive been in relationships where the girl doesn't care at all about my style (or her). It's not a deal breaker. If you find someone intelligent, funny and charming...clothes becomes pretty unimportant, at least for me
In fact to some extent I think I prefer girls who doesn't share the same taste. The conversations can become a bit boring and repetitive if you both are really into this stuff. Hmm...but I guess it depends on you, the girl, the level of interest and the type of relationship.

[Faust]

Yes, Ive been in relationships where the girl is really into my style and encourage me, buy stuff as gifts etc, and Ive been in relationships where the girl doesn't care at all about my style (or her). It's not a deal breaker. If you find someone intelligent, funny and charming...clothes becomes pretty unimportant, at least for me
In fact to some extent I think I prefer girls who doesn't share the same taste. The conversations can become a bit boring and repetitive if you both are really into this stuff. Hmm...but I guess it depends on you, the girl, the level of interest and the type of relationship.

This is so true, and agree pretty much with everything else. It's so hard to find someone interesting to begin with, style is malleable.

[guardimp]

Why is it hard to find interesting people? Do you think that most people are boring, or just that it is hard to find someone that has interests that you find exiting?

[Monoral]

Also it helps when your lifestyle synchs up with your clothing choices as you begin to fit with your surroundings and colleagues. Its a big difference from wearing "the typical zeitgeist-clothing" in a large fashion-forward city versus in a rural area. I find that most negative reactions are from people who are unused to seeing some of the stuff discussed here.

Must agree with you here, Just moved to a small rural horse town and wow every *effing day people look at me and giggles and laugh. Not that i care or anything but i must say that i start to feel a bit annoyed to live amongst Crocker jeans and HM t-shirt demographics...

Dunno how Shucks manage, maybe Rick stuff is more acceptable than let say Boris?

[Shucks]

i kinda knew u would get fed up living there, dude. sorry to hear it tho...

[daou0782]

Why is it hard to find interesting people? Do you think that most people are boring, or just that it is hard to find someone that has interests that you find exiting?

because the world is inherently uneven.

[Faust]

Why is it hard to find interesting people? Do you think that most people are boring, or just that it is hard to find someone that has interests that you find exiting?

Aren't these two sides of the same answer?

By the way, we do have a thread for this topic, but I suppose we've gone far enough already...

http://www.stylezeitgeist.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7047&highlight=find+harder

[guardimp]

Seems like you are right, that thread always did seem overlap with this one.

[destroymebaby]

Why is it hard to find interesting people? Do you think that most people are boring, or just that it is hard to find someone that has interests that you find exiting?

Yes, people are boring, at least ninety percent of us, and that's generous of me, it's a sociological understatement. Of course I'm one of them. I'm one of the boring ones. That's exactly why I need interesting people around me and get disappointed when I can't find them. If I was interesting myself not only would I be self-sufficient, I'd also be capable of finding interest in the smallest things, such as the queue, the never ending sequence of common people awaiting their turn to reach the cashier, at H&M.