Randomness

[Fade to Black]

/\ LOL. Oh, boy, when we start to talk in MBAspeak, you know SZ is done.

MBAspeak is dangerously addictive. I have fallen into this trap as of late, tryin to find a way out.

[kira]

Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido : All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle , n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude , n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon , n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster , n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism , n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent , n An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

[Magician]

^ Thank you so much for that. I used to love reading those contests in the post! Brightened up the monotonous drudge of a particularly slow workday.

Also:a fellow DC-ite on the forum?

[kira]

in NYC, not DC. but a friend of mine always gets this every year. it always makes me smile too.

[D_S]

Haha..you've never quit. You've merely taken a break from slow suicide. I guess killing yourself can be tiring. ;) I've actually heard that about getting sick from several people who have actually been successful in quitting. I don't know man. I've been there and still smoked. Was at a bar the other night that allowed smoking here in Los Angeles and relapsed hard...so I hear ya on the euro tip. Drinking and smoking is a tough combination to resist. Anyways, Paris banned it new year 2008 and that's where I frequent in Europe.

Yeah I know... Its a psychological thing, I like to call it quitting so it doesnt seem so big the next time. "Pfff, I can quit these fucking things. Ive already done it and it wasnt so hard." The longest ive been is 10 months since the age of 13 and honestly it wasnt that difficult not smoking, its just so easy to start again. I cant do the social smoking thing so that first one does me in again.

Nic patches and gum dont work for me as its very much a hand-mouth addiction. When I was little some of the Japanese kids at boarding school had these plastic faux cigarettes with fruit flavored filters. They really did take the tension out of not smoking during class for the short while before they were banned. Id say I enjoy about 2 cigs out of 20, the rest are just to keep my hands busy.

[D_S]

The dragon is all glass and it's a real beauty. I can see the cost in the craftmanship, so it's basically a matter if willing to spend is all.

Youre in NYC, eh? I bought a dragon as a housewarming present for myself when I moved into my first apartment. I got it as a table piece, figured it was more of a novelty than anything else but damn that shit hits hard. If you do spring for one make sure you replace the slide, what it comes with is a piece of crap. I used to throw dried roses in the stem when it wasnt in use, looked nice and was better if the land lord came over. Its a shame, I havent touched mine in 3 years. After I moved out of my Brooklyn flat I had to put her in storage.

[kira]

I understand the role of nicotine and how it is hard to kick. I am not trying to diminish the difficulty of the addiction, or any for that matter. But knowing what we know these days, isn't this enough? I never smoked so I can't not empathize, I just never saw the point...

[D_S]

I understand the role of nicotine and how it is hard to kick. I am not trying to diminish the difficulty of the addiction, or any for that matter. But knowing what we know these days, isn't this enough? I never smoked so I can't not empathize, I just never saw the point...

Cuuuute! Here in Montreal weve got this kind of image on every pack of cigarettes. 1/2 of the front is covered with a picture depicting the effects of chronic cigarette use and inside is a neat little card with a 1800 help number or something. We are in good company with forward thinking nations such as Chile, Egypt, India, Jordan, Malaysia, Panama, Peru, Romania, Singapore, Thailand, Uruguay, Venezula, et al. And this is a country with no conflict of interest laws hassling government legislators.

[lowrey]

1. Coffee n. The person upon whom one coughs.
5. Willy-nilly adj. Impotent.
7. Lymph v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
16. Circumvent , n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

hahaha these cracked me up

[philip nod]

Just curious pnod, what's your method of choice? I'm debating on whether to buy this dragon bong, er water pipe for my girlfriend for x-mas. I've been buying the random piece here or there (mostly glass on glass stuffs), but they've all been in the sub-$200 range. The sucker will run me just over $300. It sure is purdy though.

in college i had a double chamber bong and a 3 sreen indie film theatre across the street. that about as far as i could make it. i saw austin powers there and literally fell into the aisle and rolled down it.
now i just smoke joints. although if somebody gave me a bong i'd probably be really happy
post up a pic of this dragon bong
here's a great painting by david ratcliff called bongs its big 8x10 ft i think

[D_S]

Hmm, maybe we arent actually talking about the same 'dragon' if you called it a bong.... The piece im speaking of looks like a soft glass sculpture, not so much like a traditional bong.

[Spencer]

The dragon is all clear glass, maybe a foot long and 6 inches high. I didn't handle it but I believe you feed the mouth and smoke the tail. It was a really beautiful piece. Anybody in the Atlanta area (I'm not) it was at Junkman's. If it's still there when I go back in a couple weeks I'll buy it and post pics.

[BECOMING-INTENSE]

So have you all planned and prepared for your turkey tomorrow?

[DHC]

Popped the cork off a Corsendonk and now sipping to "Ghosts From The Sun". Feeling inspired to finish the bottle and go speed shave with a straight razor.

[theetruscan]

So have you all planned and prepared for your turkey tomorrow?

Goes in the brine in 2 hours.

Cooking for 25, gotta be organized. Prep is mostly sealed in plastic containers in the fridge already, everything that can't be is laid out in order of time. I'm super neurotic though.

EDIT: Speed shaving with a straight razor is either hardcore or emo, and I can't figure out which.